How To Be A Famous Musician
by Jessica Benassi
Professional Expert on Songs That Sound Good and How To Sing Them Like People Who Can Sing Like Professional Singers.
One of the nice things about being self employed and being your own boss of yourself is that while you're at work you can listen to the same song over and over, all day long. Sometimes, if there are customers around, they might be all, "hey - do you think we could listen to something else?" and you can say no because you're the boss and you can do whatever you want. And you can start the song over and turn it up really loud and be all, "in your face, stupid customer!" and bang on the counter really loud and make a scary face. Customers like stuff like that and will probably even go to Yelp and give your business a good review.
Also, if you listen to the same song for long enough, it becomes a part of you and you can tell people that you wrote it and play it in public for money. Eventually you can probably sell it to some big company like Pepsi or something and make a million dollars, and also probably get free pop for life.
Me: My friend David and I are starting a Tegan and Sara cover band.
James: I don't know what that means.
Me: It means awesome is what it means.
James: What's Tegan and Sara?
James: You know you're really bad at explaining stuff, right?
Me: You're just jealous.
James: You can't even sing.
Me: Totes jelly.
James: What does that even mean?
Me: Jelly McJealouserson.
James: Ok. Have fun with your cover band.
Me: Degan and Jarah.
James: I thought it was Tegan and Sara?
Me: Yeah, but we're David and Jessica and we're covering Tegan and Sara. Degan and Jarah. Get it? It's so awesome.
James: Ok. But seriously - you're both terrible singers.
Me: I have to go - David and I are going wig shopping.
James: If you blog about this, please don't put me in a Real Housewives wig.
James: I'm not kidding.
Me: Seriously - I have to go. We need new outfits and I have to learn how to play piano.
I feel pretty confident that after a few more weeks of video practice, we'll be ready to be famous. I'm getting really good at far away and David is a natural at close. It's like we were born to do this.
PS ~ If you see this video and you're all "WHOA! It's Degan and Jarah!" I would totally understand, except it's not us. It's Tegan and Sara. But I agree - the resemblance is uncanny. It's like...creepy, almost.
PPS ~ Check out the most awesome ad ever: