Because I'm selfish, that's why.


Why I Haven't Responded to Any of Your Comments
by Jessica Benassi
Professional Jerkface who Doesn't Respond to Comments

I had...and still have...every intention of catching up on my blog reading and responding to comments and actually interacting with people instead of selfishly posting and expecting people to read my crap without reading anyone else's crap in return. You read my crap, I should read yours. Not that your stuff is crap. I'm sure it's really good.  Actually, having read your crap before, I'm practically positive it's good.  I just don't actually know for sure right now because I'm being a selfish douche canoe and entirely wrapped up in my own crap.

Just remember...I quit my job, and in two months and 10 days, I'm going to be all over your crap...er...stuff.

Anyway, because I'm a selfish douche hat and I only care about my own crap, I have a favor I need to ask of you. The other day, when I was working at my bar, this happened:

Customers: Hey Jessica, we found this stray dog, and animal control won't pick him up at night and he's all skinny and stuff and we don't know what to do with him but then we remembered that you love dogs so here's this dog we found for you.
Me: I do love dogs.
Customers: We know. Take this dog.
Me: He smells bad.
Customers: We know. Take him.
Me: He's really skinny.
Customers: We know. Take him.
Me: I'll give him a piece of turkey and take him home for the night. I can take him to the shelter in the morning.
Customers: OK.
Me: OK.

Me: C'mere, dog. I'm going to give you a piece of turkey and take you to the shelter in the morning.


Me: Take you to the shelter...


Me: Gonna take you...


Me: Shelter...morning...


Me: You...go...shelter...



Me: No...dog...eyes...so...big...





Me: Ohmygawd I love you, dog.


Anyway, the dog won and I'm now fostering him until he gets his new family. The only thing is, he's only 4 months old and all emaciated and stuff and filled with alien parasites that are trying to eat him from the inside out and I had to get him vaccinated and get him food and some medicine and a new collar and some toys because his widdle biddy face is so cute and...er...forget I said that. 

I never, EVER talk in a baby voice to dogs.  Ever.  That's so stupid.

You're ridiculous.

Anyway, my point is, I just spent something like a krazillion dollars on this stray dog, so any stuff that you buy from my store is going to help off set all of the costs that are associated with stray dogs who hypnotize you with their big brown trusting eyes and talk you into taking them home instead of taking them to the shelter.

also,

Also, this guy says thank you:


Charlie Bear, former stray, currently spoiled.

2 comments:

Jess June 19, 2012 at 3:23 AM  

Great for emaciated: https://www.facebook.com/note.php?saved&&note_id=253155754765045&id=174098296004125

:)

Charlie is adorable! :)

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About This Blog

Everything in this blog is copyright Jessica Benassi AKA Hey Lola except where I give credit to other people because obviously, that's their stuff. Don't steal my stuff. I mean, I'm not sure why you would want to, anyway, but if you're thinking about it...don't. Also, all of this nonsense is my opininion and is not supported or endorsed by Blogger or anyone ese. I mean, maybe it is, but if something I say just infuriates you, I take sole responsibility.

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