Don't mess with me Google, I've got ass bunny ninjas just waiting to kick your butt

So, apparently one of the side effects of me all but ignoring this blog, is that I've lost the number one position.

You know which one. The most coveted search result in all of Google-land.

I'm no longer the number one search result for ass bunnies.

I know, I know...it's my own fault entirely...it's like, when you neglect the important things in life, the important things in life get snatched right out of your grasp. Then you're stuck crying in a bathtub somewhere, nothing but a shell of your former self...just the girl who was once the Queen of the Ass Bunnies.

You guys know I'm not going to stand for this, right? I mean, if you're not going to fight for what you believe in, what good are you? Sometimes you just have to jump up on your car and yell, " I AM THE QUEEN OF THE ASS BUNNIES!!!"

...and then real quick get down when you realize that that's not actually your car and the cops just showed up and your driver's license is totally expired.

The other thing that you could do is hold a contest because you're lucky enough to know somebody who's crafty and has created a cute and fuzzy ass bunny action figure for you:






(Made By Laura makes ass bunnies for me. Made By Laura is awesome.)


That one isn't mine because mine is dressed like a ninja...I mean, his face is, anyway. His butt has to stay uncovered because he's an ass bunny. Obviously. Ninja ass bunny.

No, this particular ass bunny is yours. And he comes with a $100 gift certificate to my store. True story. And my store is about to get even more stuff in it. So, you know...you'll have more stuff to choose from. Stuff like this:







How do you win? By entering. How do you enter? By leaving a comment on this post. How do you enter more than once? Like, say, 5 times? You post a blog entry that links back here or to my store. How do you enter 10 times? You post a blog entry that links back to my blog AND my store. Whatever you decide to do, you have to come back here and tell me. Otherwise I'm not going to know because I haven't finished becoming psychic yet.

Additional rules: You can't say ass bunny or ass bunnies if you blog about me. You can say butt rabbit, gluteus maximus rodent, behind hare or something else along those lines but YOU CANNOT SAY ASS BUNNY. Chances are you blog more than I do and therefore, probably have more readers. If you start talking about ass bunnies over on your blog, you're going to take the ass bunny crown and then you and I are going to fight. And you'll be disqualified. Which would not be cool because I really, really like you.

Also, anything you blog about me has to be nice. Lie if you have to, I don't mind. OOOOH!OOOOH!! You should write a poem! A super sweet and shiny poem...that would be awesome.

The drawing ends at midnight, December 10th. The winner will be announced within a few days after. So you can use your gifts for yourself OR as holiday presents. Cool, huh?

P.S. If you were wondering where I actually disappeared to, my husband and I have been building this place. It's pretty awesome.
Also, I still love Natalie Dee:

www.nataliedee.com

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It's a tiny contest!

The 3.4 of you who are avid readers of my blog are already aware that my birthday was re-scheduled for today. For those of you who are new - it's my birthday! In honor of this joyous occasion, I'm having a GIGANTIC(tiny)contest. The rules are simple:
1. Look around the blog a bit and leave a comment on any entry. The comment should mention the contest and should also not hurt my feelings.
2. Leave your e-mail address in the form of me (at) whateverdomain (dot) com so spambots can't steal your info and sign you up for porn or whatever it is that spambots sign you up for. (I promise I'm not going to sign you up for any list or e-mail you a bunch of stuff or anything. The e-mail info is only for this contest and then I'm tossing it.)
3. You have to have a paypal account so I can give you the mass amounts of prize money I'm offering*.
4. I'll pick a winner by randomly drawing a name out of a hat...or a jar...or whatever. I'll draw the name on Monday.
5.One entry per person.

First prize - $19 dollars and some change! The actual amount of change is for the year I was born but I feel like that's...uh...it's special information. Only the winner needs to know.
Second prize - $11.08! Obviously, this amount is for my birthday...which is today.
Third prize -$11.07! This amount is for yesterday...which would have been my birthday if it weren't for all of that work nonsense.

I know...it's an unbelievably large amount of money and you're probably wondering how on earth you could possibly spend it all.
Might I suggest a Giant Donny Osmond Head Recycled Album Cover Notebook?


I'm just sayin'...If you're going to win money from a girl with a giant head, giant head stuff seems like an appropriate way to spend your winnings.

Good luck!


* In the event that I'm not allowed to give out prize money and some official government agency threatens to throw me in jail or shut down my blog or something, I'll give away something of comparable value. If you're a government agency and you're reading this and you're all like,"whoa there missy, this is totally illegal!" well, I'd just like you to know that I did some pretty extensive research into the legalities of this and if it is in fact illegal, that information is pretty hard to come by.

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