Quick everybody, company's coming, put your good pants on!
So this has happened...
Me: So...I'm in Art & Society Magazine this month.
James: Do they have a police report section?
Me: Why would I be in the police report section?
James: Why would you be in a magazine called "Art & Society?"
Me: Because apparently I'm high society, dumbass.
James: Isn't "high society" the name of a porn magazine?
Me: I don't know.
Me: Why would you know that?
James: Know what?
Me: About some obscure porno magazine?
James: I was in a fraternity.
Me: Oh.
James: What are you doing?
Me: Googling "High Society."
Me: "High Society" is a porno magazine.
James: So you're in a porno magazine?
Me: No, I'm in "Art & Society." It's for artists and um...like...important people and um...stuff like that.
James: And they don't have a police report section?
Me: No.
James: So why are you in it?
Me: I'm not really sure...
James: Were you maybe going to shower today?
Me: Thinkin' about it...
Anyway, I'm in this "Art & Society" magazine this month and it's a huge honor and all, but the thing is, somehow I gave them this website address instead of the www.shopheylola.com address, so all sorts of really refined people are coming over here and I really need you all to have clean underwear on and stuff so we don't all look like idiots. Please. Also, this just goes to show you that we can all achieve great things even if we did maybe forget to shower today and we smell a little bit like socks soaked in day old Ramen noodles.
P.S. If you google "High Society" , all of these images of this porno magazine come up, except they're totally outdated and if you just glance at it, it looks kind of like "Tiger Beat" or "Teen Beat" or something and you kind of expect to see a headline like, "All of Your Favorite Saved By The Bell Cast Members with their Wangs and Stuff Hanging Out!" Except it would probably be a little bit better worded because even porn writers have to use proper grammar...
...I think.
(This is by no means meant to imply that any member of Saved by the Bell ever showed their wang or junk or anything to any magazine, porn or otherwise...except Jesse Spano, because everybody already saw Showgirls so her junk is out there.)
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9 comments:
Congratulations... I think? :-D
Oh man, I totally picked the wrong day for holey underwear. Shoot.
Tiffani-Amber whats her name had his boobs hanging out in a few magazines. I remember the pics fondly.
I would LOVE to see Jesse Spano's wang hanging out. Homegirl can tuck it like nobody's business.
You're so cute, and I am so glad I got to read about you in a non-porn magazine, because I would have had to bleach my eyes. Not that I think you might look scary or anything but...uhh...I hated Saved by the Bell!
LOOK! ZOMBIES!
yay for you! i was kinda disappointed that you didn't mention me. i'm totally rescinding our bff status. for an hour.
also. i'm scared to think about the girls of "saved by the bell" having wangs.
Was there a Kelly on saved by the bell????
Was the blond right???
notice how they are all called kelly ???? :)
You write awesome dialogue, Miss Fine Thing. Much better than the crap on TV these days. Congratulations on the ARTS & Society gig!
Where are you?
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