Andrew Tweedie
Finance Department Director
International Monetary Fund. IMF
EMAIL: (quick response)


Your name was found in the Central Computer among the list of unpaid(Contractors,Inheritance next of kin and lotto beneficiaries that was originated from American,Europe, Asia plus Middle east and Africans) among the list of individuals and companies that your that are yet to be paid.

Your unpaid fund has been located to the Standard Chartered Bank,HSBC,Barclay's Bank,Nat-west Bank, and ATM payment. Your name appeared among the beneficiaries who will receive a part-payment of US$15.5million and has been approved already for months.You are requested to get back to us for more direction and instruction on how to receive your fund.

However, we received an email from one Dr. Robert Watson who told us that he is your next of kin and that you died in a car accident last week.

Dr Robert Watson account co-ordinate as follows:
Bank of Lebanon
A/c no: 890458984589
Routing No: bl 275-79665
Beneficiary: Dr Robert Watson

He has also submitted his account for us to transfer the fund to him.We want to hear from you before we can make the transfer to confirm if you are dead or not. Once again, I apologize to you on behalf Of IMF (International MonetaryFund) failure to receive your funds in time, which according to records in the system had been long overdue.

Kindly re-confirm these information bellow for immediate release of your funds if the instruction of the changes is not from you.

A. Your Full Name
B. Your Private Telephone and Fax numbers
C. Your full home or office address
D. Copy of your identification

Yours Sincerely,
Andrew Tweedie
Finance Department Director
International Monetary Fund. IMF (quick response)

Dear Andrew,

Thank you so much for your kind e-mail.  It's nice to know that there are still people in the world who are willing to stand up and do the right thing, especially when unscrupulous people such as Dr. Watson are lurking about.  As it happens, I did die and am at this moment dead, although not from a car wreck as Dr. Watson told you.  I died in a "freak" parasailing "accident".  I've always been an excellent parasailer, so I find it pretty odd that I would meet my demise doing something that I'm really, really good at. I mean, I'm probably the best parasailer anyone has ever seen. Seriously, especially consider the fact that I live...well, lived (get it?) in Illinois, where people said parasailing couldn't even be done.  I guess I showed them, didn't I? Dumbasses.

Anyway, I'd bet you a basket of cheese fries that I was probably murdered. In fact, the Afterlife Investigative Team and I are currently following leads that I'm quite sure will lead us to none other than Dr. Robert Watson...if that's even his real name.  I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. 

I feel quite confident that Dr.Watson will get what he has coming to him. In case you were wondering, Heaven is real and it's just like everyone said it would be.  All of my dead pets are here, I sleep on clouds, I eat cake everyday, and I have access to every episode of CSI that was ever made, and also every episode that ever will be made.  So basically, Dr. Watson is going down, because I know everything about science.  Also, I have magic powers now, so that's helpful...and also AWESOME,amirite?

Anyway, until we get our guy, you should probably consider him armed and dangerous, and just stay away from him.  He's probably not even a real doctor, anyway, so he's really of no benefit to you other than being all Scammy McScammer Pants.

It should be noted that my next of kin is James McGhee and our 4 dogs.  Because I am dead, I have no use for money, but I'm sure my grieving family would like to have it and spend some quality time together at Chuck E. Cheese or somewhere else nice. My full name is now Ariaartiella.  It's an angel name, as I shed my earthly skin when I died and was renamed as an angel.  Also - just a side note - shedding your earthly skin is way gross. Seriously. Like...horror movie disgusting. Have you seen "The Fly?" It's like that.  I think I threw up when it happened, but I'm not sure because I was dead and being dead is a lot like being drunk, only there's nobody up here to make out with.  

I don't have a phone or fax, but if you go out in your backyard and shout my name, I should be able to get back to you fairly quickly. Like, when that kid in The Neverending Story shouts that little girl empress name from his attic that, only shout my name. Say it like this - "AIR-EE-AH-AHR-TEE-ELLA". If you pronounce it wrong, you're probably going to end up with somebody else, and they're not even going to know what you're talking about. Maybe practice under your breath a few times before you actually call.  As mentioned, my address is Heaven.  The DMV doesn't give out IDs to dead people, so I've included a picture of my family instead.  You shouldn't have any problem finding them, as they're very good looking and my husband looks like an owl.

Again, Andrew, thank you so much for being so kind and so thorough in your investigation of my whereabouts. It's really just...well, it just warms my cold, dead heart.

Yours Deadly,

Ariaartiella GhostAngel
Afterlife Investigative Director
Heaven, In the Sky
Shout out your backdoor (for quick response)