I don't even know what kind of title to put on this.

Someone pointed out to me the other day that my purse looks like a giant vagina. At the time, it was kind of funny and I was all, “Haha! That’s so funny, I never even noticed!” and I giggled and I even mentioned it here and that was the end of that…except that wasn’t the end. In the comments section, people kept wanting to see pictures of the purse. James pointed out that if you look at it right, it does resemble a vagina. I tried really hard to NOT see it that way but...

I used to carry a cute pink purse…now I carry a giant vagina (ok, seriously, don’t make a joke here…the joke is obvious…stop it…just… stop) When I’m at the grocery store and I’m ready to pay, I blush bright red because I have to reach into my giant vagina purse. I can’t set my purse on the table at restaurants because it’s obscene and there are kids around so I hide it under the table…which is no good either because I’m a sloppy eater and I drop food and that purse is freaking huge and what happens if I don’t realize that there’s food in there and it starts to SMELL and I'm trying to convince myself that it's just a regular purse but when I look at now all I see is vagina purse and do I really want to be the girl with the smelly vagina purse?

James asked me why I didn't just exchange the purse for a different one…I have more purses, it would be a really simple switch. I guess I figured if I kept carrying it, the vaginaness of it would wear off and it would go back to being a cute little pink purse. Unfortunately, I just don’t think that that’s going to happen…even now, as I type this, it mocks me and you know….it’s true…the thing does look like a giant vagina. A giant, pink, shiny, vinyl vagina.

Bright pink purse:



Simple, not obscene map wallet:



Purse and wallet:


Purse Porn:




*James just pointed out the fact that there’s all sorts of crap falling out of my vagina purse…which makes it even worse. The vagina purse is now officially retired.

16 comments:

Becca November 24, 2008 at 4:13 PM  

OMG.

Ok, I don't see it. Though the purse porn pic is convincing, but the lead up was so detailed that when I did see it, I was a little creeped out...like in anticipation or something. Haha!

Did you retire the wallet too? The wallet was cool.

Adrienne November 24, 2008 at 4:16 PM  

Woah that is one dirty purse! Even the sides of it look like vaginas.. it's like a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a giant vagina?!

Nude,  November 24, 2008 at 4:28 PM  

Forget the purse, let's see more of that dress!!

Dizzy Ms. Lizzy November 24, 2008 at 4:36 PM  

And you called ME a purse pervert????? Apparently, I'm not the only one! hee hee hee

Celia,  November 24, 2008 at 4:42 PM  

well, since you pointed it out, i guess the purse IS kind of vagina-y, but i completely LOVE the map wallet!!

pickleberries November 24, 2008 at 5:05 PM  

I think you made the choice in retirement!

anandajoy,  November 24, 2008 at 6:41 PM  

Oh I so see it now!

The only thing funnier at this point would be a fluffy designer dog popping out!

Fur baby?

Kathleen November 24, 2008 at 8:00 PM  

LMAO!!! Nothing to say, just LMAO...!

BakerGirl November 24, 2008 at 11:48 PM  

Haha!! You're post just made my day! I needed your hilarious vagina purse story after a ten hour day in retail!

You would make a fortune with your Purse Porn!

:-)

Lump November 25, 2008 at 9:06 AM  

ahahahah this is awesome! I would rock that giant vagina! loud and proud! :)

Jessica November 25, 2008 at 8:11 PM  

Yes, I'm keeping the map wallet - I totally love it:)

But the purse...well, you all clearly see why it has to go.

jeweledrabbit November 26, 2008 at 9:01 PM  

I'm sorry to hear you retired the pussy purse. :(

leah December 3, 2008 at 11:39 AM  

I have tears running down my face from laughing so hard. I think I may have peed a little...

Insanity Kim March 10, 2009 at 8:55 PM  

I have that same exact mole.

On the same side.

On my cheek...

On my face.

Just like yours.

If that is you.

wow.

Oh yeah. Nice purse.

Julie December 13, 2011 at 2:07 AM  

Ha ha ha . That really does look like a giant vagina!
I was at the supermarket check out and the checkout chick asked me if I wanted a plastic bag. I said (and will never again) without thinking 'Can I have a small box?'

jj December 14, 2011 at 2:28 AM  

and now I have to google "purse porn" to see if that exists as a fetish.

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Everything in this blog is copyright Jessica Benassi AKA Hey Lola except where I give credit to other people because obviously, that's their stuff. Don't steal my stuff. I mean, I'm not sure why you would want to, anyway, but if you're thinking about it...don't. Also, all of this nonsense is my opininion and is not supported or endorsed by Blogger or anyone ese. I mean, maybe it is, but if something I say just infuriates you, I take sole responsibility.

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