Jessica.: vagina purse

Someone pointed out to me the other day that my purse looks like a giant vagina. At the time, it was kind of funny and I was all, “Haha! That’s so funny, I never even noticed!” and I giggled and I even mentioned it here and that was the end of that…except that wasn’t the end. In the comments section, people kept wanting to see pictures of the purse. James pointed out that if you look at it right, it does resemble a vagina. I tried really hard to NOT see it that way but...

I used to carry a cute pink purse…now I carry a giant vagina (ok, seriously, don’t make a joke here…the joke is obvious…stop it…just… stop) When I’m at the grocery store and I’m ready to pay, I blush bright red because I have to reach into my giant vagina purse. I can’t set my purse on the table at restaurants because it’s obscene and there are kids around so I hide it under the table…which is no good either because I’m a sloppy eater and I drop food and that purse is freaking huge and what happens if I don’t realize that there’s food in there and it starts to SMELL and I'm trying to convince myself that it's just a regular purse but when I look at now all I see is vagina purse and do I really want to be the girl with the smelly vagina purse?

James asked me why I didn't just exchange the purse for a different one…I have more purses, it would be a really simple switch. I guess I figured if I kept carrying it, the vaginaness of it would wear off and it would go back to being a cute little pink purse. Unfortunately, I just don’t think that that’s going to happen…even now, as I type this, it mocks me and you know….it’s true…the thing does look like a giant vagina. A giant, pink, shiny, vinyl vagina.

Bright pink purse:

Simple, not obscene map wallet:

Purse and wallet:

Purse Porn:

*James just pointed out the fact that there’s all sorts of crap falling out of my vagina purse…which makes it even worse. The vagina purse is now officially retired.