Everyone should own a dumber.

So, I was doing really important stuff on the internet when this ad* caught my attention:

I'm just curious- do you think that the 85% who scored lower on this genius test failed random capitalization or did they make the mistake of maybe saying that 2 of YOUR friends think that YOU'RE dumber than George Bush?

Shortly after I found that gem, I heard a knock on my door...Jesus people! A lot of Jesus people, like 6 or 7 or 12 of them or something. I've never seen so many door to door Jesus people at one time - they were freaking EVERYWHERE. A really nice lady offered me a pamphlet which I politely refused because you know, like I said, Jesus and I are cool...

I'm pretty sure I heard her mumbling when she walked away, "You know God has Twitter...we SAW the Jesus joke...harlot..."

After that my cable box broke, my printer blew up and my dog pooped on the floor and I don't know if that means anything but I'm kind of rethinking not taking that pamphlet.

*Someone pointed out to me that I originally had "add" instead of "ad." This is one of my worst nightmares...that I will point out someone else's mistake and in the process make a huge error of my own...which someone will then point out to me...and then I'll look stupid AND bitchy. However, that's not going to stop me from pointing out other people's mistakes. I'm still going to do it. I'm still going to point and mock. You can't stop me.


Kathleen November 12, 2008 at 5:14 PM  

A group of 6 or less Jesus people make up a gaggle. 7 - 12 are called a drove. 12 or more is a bevy and you'd best take the pamphlet.

Me and Jesus are cool btw...

Sharron November 12, 2008 at 5:39 PM  

Did you know that George Bush is one of only a few people to ever fail an IQ test?

stpaulslim November 12, 2008 at 5:46 PM  

I always take the pamphlets. I've trained my dog to poop on them. He's a doberman, so he's also really good at chasing the Jesus people all the way down the block.

Redd November 12, 2008 at 7:40 PM  

I'm here to play the part of that bitch who corrects YOUR grammar.

You did not see an add. You saw an ad. EPIC FAIL! Okay, so maybe not EPIC fail. But MEDIOCRE FAIL just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Jesus and I aren't cool while we're on the subject. He still owes me $5.

jeweledrabbit November 12, 2008 at 9:35 PM  

God's on Twitter? How many followers does he have? If I follow him will he even notice? Or will he just ignore me like a certain someone ignores you? :p

UrbanVox November 13, 2008 at 3:27 AM  


I didn't know God had a twitter! cool uh???

Yup... some Jesus people get on my nuts some times... I've been called heretic, and I am not welcome in about 6 denominations... hehehe

Why??? Because I DARE to tell the truth... And if some pastors even ventured to actually read the bible they'd know most of their conceptions are wrong...

And BTW... Me and Jesus are cool... And believe it or not... I'm a pastor.... ;)

Jason - GorillaSushi November 13, 2008 at 8:15 AM  

I heard God's thinking about migrating the prayer system's old mainframe to Twitter. Pray for whatever you want, as long as it's 140 characters or less.

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Everything in this blog is copyright Jessica Benassi AKA Hey Lola except where I give credit to other people because obviously, that's their stuff. Don't steal my stuff. I mean, I'm not sure why you would want to, anyway, but if you're thinking about it...don't. Also, all of this nonsense is my opininion and is not supported or endorsed by Blogger or anyone ese. I mean, maybe it is, but if something I say just infuriates you, I take sole responsibility.

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