It could really be any member of the Voorhies family

So, these super awesome people featured my jewelry on their site today:

They've also featured the monster of a printer that I just bought (Epson Artisan 800)and a shower curtain that I'm pretty sure I need so we're getting along pretty well so far. They might be my new BFF (but only when I'm channeling Paris Hilton...wait...I never channel Paris Hilton...never mind). has NOT featured me yet so all in all, it's a good day.

Anyway, on to our regularly scheduled blog post...
I find that I claim that things are "my worst nightmare" quite a bit. Technically, in order for something to be the worst, there should be only one - right? It's "the worst" not "all the worst" or "the worst bunch" or "the worstesses"....just one of them is supposed to get the prize - the worst one. However, at any given moment there are multiple fears vying for that position.

The top 20 things I know for sure right now, the fear version

1. Everyone I know has been aware that I have an absurdly large head this whole time but no one wants to be the one to point it out so they just keep quiet about it until I leave the room and then they all have a good laugh.
2. I'm slowly alienating everyone with my run-on sentences and my liberal use of ellipses.
3. Jason Voorhies is going to kill me.
4. My car will finally throw in the towel on a dark, abandoned, narrow, tree-lined that Jason Voorhies can kill me.
5. My teeth are rotting out of my head.
6. I'm going to make fun of someone else's punctuation, spelling or grammar only when I do it, I'm going to make multiple punctuation, spelling and grammar mistakes.
7. My friends are going to "surprise" me by getting me on one of those reality t.v. "What Not to Wear" or "Tim Gunn's Guide to Style." Uh...oh...yay..surprise!
8. James really does have better moves than me.
9. I really should have taken that pamphlet.
10. A&E is going to decide that that's just about enough Law and Order and then what the hell am I going to do?
11. My pets secretly wish for a better owner.
12. No one else is an internet stalker - it's just me. I'm the only one.
13. I'm going to be simultaneously featured on and UglyShitOnEtsy and everyone is going to be all like "Finally! Someone that DESERVES to be here!"
14. At the exact moment I achieve internet domination, all of the bad ex-boyfriends are going to show up with the baskets of dirty laundry and the skeletons and everything that I've worked so hard for will be snatched from my grip and I'll be left huddled in the corner of my shower, alone and naked and crying into a bottle of Jack Daniels - and I don't even like Jack Daniels.
15. No matter how much I love my funky skin, people around me are wondering why I haven't injected botulism into my face yet.
16. My cat is going to get a hold of some real bad weed and freak out and claw my face off while I'm sleeping.
17. The internet is going to break.
18. My boobs are going to explode (um...soooo...there's a backstory to this but this is neither the time or place so just trust me when I say that this sort of thing freaks me out.)
19. I'm never going to be the lead singer of a Pat Benatar cover band, am I?
20. Jason Voorhies' mother is going to kill me.


Wende November 13, 2008 at 8:23 PM  

I'm pretty sure #19 is true. :D

LOVING your blog, and your generous spirit, and even your delusions about the real britney. *smooch*

Chimera Crochet November 14, 2008 at 4:20 PM  

I share in the number 12 fear.
PS, my word verification word is: tramood

carrie November 14, 2008 at 4:20 PM  

the one about etsy cracked me up. it sounds like a real show.

it isn't is it? Cause I used to have some stuff on Etsy.

Matthew Dryden November 15, 2008 at 2:09 PM  

Found you through Jamie Simmerman's Blue Duck Copy.

I imagine the same thing about my ex girlfriends...only I'll be like: "Yeah, but I already told you that."

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Everything in this blog is copyright Jessica Benassi AKA Hey Lola except where I give credit to other people because obviously, that's their stuff. Don't steal my stuff. I mean, I'm not sure why you would want to, anyway, but if you're thinking about it...don't. Also, all of this nonsense is my opininion and is not supported or endorsed by Blogger or anyone ese. I mean, maybe it is, but if something I say just infuriates you, I take sole responsibility.

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