James: Wait. Your friend Jerry?
Me: Right. Anyway -
James: Isn't he our friend Jerry?
Me: No. Not anymore. He said he doesn't like you.
James: I don't believe you.
Me: It's true. He said that ever since you started inserting his name into every song, that he doesn't like you, and also, he thinks you suck.
James: I don't think that's true.
Me: I think it was probably "parsley, sage roseJerry and thyme" that did it for him. I think that was the final straw.
James: I'm going to call him and ask him.
Me: Ok. But you should also know that my friend Jerry says that I should post more blogs of you dressed up as a Real Housewife.
James: No he didn't.
Me: It's true. He even said it on Twitter.
James: I still don't believe you.
Me: That's ok. I just wanted you to know that even though Jerry wants to destroy your life and thinks that you smell bad, that I'm not going to dress you up in my blog as a Real Housewife. Because I'm your wife and I love you.
James: You promise?
Me: Of course.
James: Thank you.
Me: No problem.
And now, presenting for the first time ever:
"Pictures of My Husband Not
Dressed Up Like a Real Housewife"
by Jessica Benassi
self proclaimed expert in marriage and photoshop
This is what my husband looks like when he's wearing 2009's prom hairstyle of the year. I mostly like how his hair matches his strappy tank top. And also how he kind of looks like one of the Real Housewives.
This is what my husband looks like with a mullet. I mostly like that he has a mullet. Oh, and also his strappy tank top.
This is what my husband looks like when he's the star of one of the greatest movies of all time. This picture is pretty special because first - that's a really great tank top and second - he kind of almost looks like a Real Housewife. Also, everything is all shiny behind him, and shiny is awesome.
This is what my husband looks like when he's a two headed dinosaur and one of his dinosaur heads is scary Oprah Winfrey and they're starring in one of the greatest movies ever made.
Mostly I like this picture because it's awesome.
Happy New Year!