Google + Me = Over.

I was going to write about my grill phobia today...which is not a phobia of barbecuing or Weber but rather, the fear of my teeth slowly rotting out of my head and then having to walk around with a completely effed up grill. Grill = teeth and no, I'm not sure why I refer to them as though I am Kanye West or 50 Cent...I just do. Anyway, I thought I'd do some research on grill phobia so that I could not only share my own fears but perhaps provide valuable insight on grill phobia for those of you who share this very same fear.

Google had other plans.

I started to ask Google, "Hey Google, which phobia is a fear of your teeth falling out?" only Google interrupted me. Google finished my sentence before I could get to the part about my grill and went ahead and inserted "chins."

Fear of chins? Chins? WTF Google? A zillion phobias that I might have wanted to ask about and you think, "Huh. I wonder...? I bet it's chins!"

It's called "geniophobia." People really have it. It's defined as the "irrational fear of chins," ...as though there might also be a rational version out there. Like, maybe one guy is afraid of chins for no good reason, but this other guy is afraid of chins because one time a chin leapt off of somebody's face and dug it's chin teeth into his girlfriend's jugular and he tried to pull it off and it bit his hand and he found a shovel and he was hitting it and hitting it but it just wouldn't die and it ended up killing his girlfriend only she turned into a zombie and her chin turned all freaky too...or something like that. I mean, obviously, that would induce a rational fear of chins.

Fortunately, I've never had anything like that happen to me... plus, rational thinking isn't really my thing. I do, however, have a tendency to adopt irrational fears the minute I stumble across them. So now I'm freaked out about my grill and John Travolta movies. Thanks a lot, Google.


See? It's scary, right? (If you need help for your own geniphobia, go here)