Heed my warning...

If, when you are having a breakdance fight, you decide to channel Prince and real quick drop into the splits...make sure that there's no possible way that you could land awkwardly on your thumb. If you do land awkwardly on your thumb and the doctor tells you that there is nothing wrong with your very large and purple hand - seek a second opinion. Remind the doctors that hands are supposed to be a matching set, and not "big hand and baby hand." If all of this happens and you don't seek a second opinion and ten years later you decide to start a jewelry company, you might find yourself with some pretty severe and re-occurring tendonitis. You might find yourself having to explain to people that you often wear a brace on your arm because of an old breakdancing injury.

This is only cool if you were a breakdancing champion, with medals and stuff...which I never was.

This sort of thing will also give your husband/boyfriend/fiance access to a treasure trove of jokes to make at your expense. He will tell other people about your breakdancing injury so that they can join him in making fun of you - and they will. You will spend the rest of your days slightly embarassed, with a sore hand, a numb thumb and dreaming of the breakdancing championship that will never be yours.

In conclusion, do not do the splits in a breakdancing fight. Prince was not a breakdancer and the splits are not breakdancing. Instead, learn how to do the worm...backwards. This is a winning move and if done correctly should result in an injury free fight and you being crowned as all time break dance champion.

You're welcome.

6 comments:

Vanessa November 3, 2008 at 8:41 PM  

Can we get some NBC star to film this as a "The More You Know" PSA? More people need to hear this.

Dizzy Ms. Lizzy November 3, 2008 at 10:41 PM  

This really SHOULD be a public service announcement! Think of how many thumbs you could save . . . :-)

Redd November 4, 2008 at 9:09 AM  

Definitely amazing!
PSA FTW!

Kathleen November 4, 2008 at 11:14 AM  

Way to sacrifice the body! That's breakdance fighting dedication right there...

Redd November 8, 2008 at 5:46 PM  

I just had to come back and give this entry some more love. I actually gave this advice to my son today who was (trying to) breakdance. I told him that no matter how badly he wanted to try, the splits are not a breakdance move.
This comment also totally doubles as my birthday contest entry! Coolest giveaway evar! redd.hynes(at)gmail(dot)com

Hope your birthday do-over was way cooler than your actual birthday <3

carrie November 12, 2008 at 10:42 PM  

I wish I'd known that a few weeks ago.


just kidding. But now that I know, I feel better.

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Everything in this blog is copyright Jessica Benassi AKA Hey Lola except where I give credit to other people because obviously, that's their stuff. Don't steal my stuff. I mean, I'm not sure why you would want to, anyway, but if you're thinking about it...don't. Also, all of this nonsense is my opininion and is not supported or endorsed by Blogger or anyone ese. I mean, maybe it is, but if something I say just infuriates you, I take sole responsibility.

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