Making up titles is even more difficult than trying to be random.

So, I got "tagged." At first I was all, "uh uh, no way, eff this, I'm not even getting started with this nonsense" because I'm pretty sure this is one of those simple things that I could easily make way more complicated than it needs to be...just really screw it up and do it wrong and offend people and forget to tag back and break the "tagging" rules. ...and then I remembered that I've been a sucky blogger lately because I've been working so much and I can't talk about my job here so I might as well go along with the tagging because at least it gives me something to write about.

Anyway, Kool Aid "tagged" me and there are some rules involved but I don't really remember them, I just remember that I'm supposed to tell you some random stuff about me... so I'm going to do that part and just make up some other stuff at the end and then tag you and then you have to do what I say because those are the rules.

Random thing number 1: I have the ugliest feet I have ever seen. This isn't one of those things that I'm saying so that you can tell me that they're not that bad or that maybe you can claim that yours are uglier or something...this is just a fact. Ugliest. Feet. Ever. My toes are all crooked and out of how most people's toes go big to little? Mine are like, medium to longest to shortest to second longest to whatever that last toe is trying to be. I tried to paint my toenails once and it was just like a sad little joke. I don't even look at my feet anymore because I'm scared of what ugly feet look like once they start to get really freaks me out.

Random thing number 2: I stepped on my laptop a few months ago and broke the "k" button. I have super laptop insurance but I'm also super lazy so the "k" button still has issues. I like a lot of things and I talk about working a lot...problem is, with the messed up "k" button you might think that I "likke" a lot of things and that I've been "woring" a lot. If you interpret that typo the wrong way, you could very easily mistake me for someone who licks a lot of things and spends a lot of time whoring. I can see how this might make sense, but it's not true. While that sort of thing might get me on Tyra, it would never get me on Oprah and that is 100% still the goal.

Random thing number 3: I don't think babies are cute. I's weird. It's just...I always want them to do stuff and when they're babies they just kind of sit there and stare at you and you stare back and if you're lucky they might grab your finger or something and then you can at least go "oh, how cute" 'cause the mom is always right there waiting for you to tell her how cute her baby is and if you don't say it, then you're a huge jerk because everyone in the whole world thinks babies are cute except for you. (Um...also,if I told you your baby was cute, I meant it. Your baby is cute. Seriously...I'm talking about other babies.)

Random thing number 4: Sometimes James sleeps with his eyes open. That's not really a random fact about me but he's doing it right now and it's kind of creeping me out. Plus, he's dreaming so his eyes are all wiggly and stuff AND he's snoring a little bit and honest to God, he is the creepiest sleeping guy I have ever seen and I don't know why I never noticed this before. It's like sleeping next to the exorcist.

Random thing number 5:
Random thing number 4 is going to bug me for a while, I think.

Random thing number 6: I can't. I can't come up with anything. James is still doing that weird thing with his eyes and I poked at him and asked him if he was all right and he mumbled that he was fine and then his eyes kind of rolled back into his head a little bit and now I'm just waiting for his head to start spinning around or something.

Yeah, so anyway, I tag all of you and the rules, no tagbacks. me five dollars. Third...write some random stuff about yourself. Fourth...don't tag anybody else because seriously, this was supposed to be way easier than it was and finally...send me five dollars.


I just found these shoes:

Wow. here ...also, I fell asleep before I finished this post....James is awake now and he just told me likes these shoes and that he wants a pair...I don't even think he's kidding.)


copperseal December 31, 2008 at 4:28 PM  

LOL! i'm sitting here reading your post and giggling hysterically - both at what you wrote and also because of my father's sincere look of concern as to why his daughter is laughing at the screen when all there is on the internet is pornography and solitaire.

neither of which he does...for the record...

P.S. there's this guy at my school who wears those shoes to the gym NO LIE. and yes, they do look as retarded in person. he kind of looks like a gecko.

do geckos have toes?

Kool Aid December 31, 2008 at 5:57 PM  

Ha Ha! Excellent job! I loved your randomness. Oh, and the check is in the mail ;).

jeweledrabbit December 31, 2008 at 10:27 PM  

I'm sorry, but I don't give money to chicks who have ugly feet and a nose hair. *shudder*

GorillaSushi January 1, 2009 at 6:01 PM  

The shoes... they come with toes in them. O_o

Violet January 2, 2009 at 8:33 AM  

The shoes...they frighten me.

You must need five dollars because you didn't respond to that completely legitimate, not chain mail letter. I'll send you five dollars as soon as I get the 1,587,268 one dollar bills that will flood my mailbox any day now.

Dawn January 2, 2009 at 2:21 PM  

Wow, those shoes are totally creepy. Although, they do look like they might be comfy. If someone gave them to me, I'd probably wear them...At home. Alone. When no one was looking.

wendy January 5, 2009 at 1:40 PM  

i'm sorry but i am the winner of the ugliest foot contest, so if you wanna challenge me you are gonna have to show us some pictures. sorry, that's the rules.

Melissa January 15, 2009 at 2:22 PM  

Am peeing my pants as I am laughing so hard!

Sad thing is, I think my feet would beat yours. The toes next to my big toes are bent out all crooked, squishing the other toesies... They're also longer then the big toe when forced to go straight. Nope, will not send a picture. Funniest part? The hubby is sending me for a pedicure... surgery would be a far better option, or something... xx

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Everything in this blog is copyright Jessica Benassi AKA Hey Lola except where I give credit to other people because obviously, that's their stuff. Don't steal my stuff. I mean, I'm not sure why you would want to, anyway, but if you're thinking about it...don't. Also, all of this nonsense is my opininion and is not supported or endorsed by Blogger or anyone ese. I mean, maybe it is, but if something I say just infuriates you, I take sole responsibility.

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