I'm like Tom Jones or Wayne Newton or whoever that singer is that people throw underwear at.

I'm totally getting underwear thrown at me...it's awesome. I'd like to say that it's because of my super sweet dance moves or my amazing and sensual singing voice...actually, I am going to say that. My moves are so sweet and my singing voice is so sexy awesome that the people over at Eden Fantasys are throwing underwear at me. I'm totally like Elvis Presley right now...except a queen, not a king...and also I'm a girl...and not dead...and I can't really move my pelvis like that either because last time I tried something popped and I couldn't get off of the couch for 2 days...but other than that, I'm totally like Elvis.

Anyway, the Eden Fantasys people asked me if I was interested in doing a review or a product giveaway so I went to their site and it was all sex toys and um...sex toys and stuff and I blushed super bright red and I imagined James' mom reading my blog where I'm all, "the super giant love machine with 3 adjustable speeds rocked my world!" and I got a little light headed and woozy and I was all "uh-uh, no way man, I am not going there!" except then I saw that they had sexy bras and soy candles and stuff so I asked if I could review something like that and then they threw underwear at me.

This is awesome for a few reasons: First, I'm getting married this summer and I need a sexy underwear stash. Second, James makes fun of my underwear all of the time. He says I'm like the granny panty queen. Third, the underwear that they sent me is super adorable:

(totally not my body)

I put it on and was running up and down the stairs, shaking my butt and shimmying and telling James to look at how cute I was...which he agreed and then reminded me that our windows were open and the whole neighborhood could see me dancing around the house in my underwear. But, you know...at least it was cute. Anyway, here's the thing about lingerie...most of it is really uncomfortable. I mean, maybe not for you but the stuff that I've bought before always has that g-string thing that feels like it's coated in sandpaper and razorblades. Then you have to pay 7 vagillion dollars to get the matching bra and then you put it all on and your boyfriend or husband is all, "yea-heh, sex-EE!" and you're all trying to act sexy except your butt hurts and now you're poor. So, you know, I kind of gave up on the sexy underwear thing...

But this underwear is like shorts! No razorblades or sandpaper and the whole outfit costs less than 40 bucks. Plus, they have other lingerie sets that have underwear with ruffles which I lovelovelove because they remind me of the 40's and 50's pin-up girls. The only thing that I had a problem with was the sizing. I'm kind of busty but the rest of me is like a twig in comparison so it was kind of hard to figure out what size to pick. The bras and panties come as a set so it's a little difficult when your own body isn't really a matching set. The bottoms fit perfectly but the bra ended up being a little bit too small...however, even being a little bit small didn't make it look bad. It's super cute and James is very happy to see me getting outside of my granny panty comfort zone.

P.S. If you want to know about the stuff that they carry that makes me blush, Petra over at the Wise Young Mommy can fill you in.

P.P.S. Sometimes when I'm dancing around in my underwear and trying to be all sexy like Shakira, I think about this video:


Insanity Kim April 4, 2009 at 7:17 PM  

Wait, you're not giving away any of those cute undies? Not even the ones you were wearing?

Sheesh...I got excited for nothing.

It's not like, I have the money to buy that stuff...I would have to shake my "money maker" which these days is more like a haunted house full of wiggly, scary ghosts in a white sack. People would probably pay me to put them out of their misery.

Anyway the bra/panties are super cute. And now I can be happy all night that there is something ELSE in this world that is cute that I can't afford, on a site I probably would never go to, for a body I simply do not have. Sigh.

Kathleen Coy April 4, 2009 at 8:08 PM  

That body has been photoshopped to the point where it looks like a mannequin.

Oh yeah, and I love you! I really do. Granny panties or no, your blog rules!

PS. Speaking of 50's pinup girls, have you seen my latest?

Pogue April 5, 2009 at 9:57 AM  

That mannequin's hot... but could probably use a cheeseburger. We have to end the madness. Please give generously,


The mannequin you save could be your own...

Sassypants Wifey April 5, 2009 at 2:01 PM  

Ha, love that you say lingerie costs a vagillion dollars. I may just have a blog crush on you now. Love all the pretties in your shop too. Just stumbled upon your blog and I like what I see!

jeweledrabbit/Maureen April 5, 2009 at 3:15 PM  

Oh sure, tell us all about your cute new lingerie set and how good it looks on you, but don't post a pic.

Violet LeBeaux April 5, 2009 at 10:29 PM  

Ruffles! ZOMG awesome, I need these. I hate how uncomfortable lingerie is too. I have such a hard time finding bras because I'm very skinny and it looks like someone stuck watermelons on my chest so maybe the bras won't be for me but I want those damn shorts!

copperseal April 6, 2009 at 4:03 PM  

my friends ALWAYS say i wear granny panties! I'm freaking 17!!! they're just bikini style :( 'sigh.

i'm sure you looked super cute in those panties. even if you think you dance around like a Country Singing Electro-Bear.

Blond Across the Pond April 7, 2009 at 11:22 PM  

The video reminds me of the skit on Saturday Night Live where Will Ferrel acts like a church piano player and covers rap songs with his church singer wife.

BTW - LOVE my gorgeous fuchsia hair clip with the vintage blue jewels. I adore your work.

Cat April 10, 2009 at 1:08 PM  

i totally thought you were a mannequin until you said that wasn't your body and i was super impressed at how well you type with plastic fingers.

Venom April 15, 2009 at 12:52 PM  

Okay, you had me with the famous cat pics, but the fact that you're BUSTY & Twiglike AT THE SAME TIME!! is just off-putting...

I'm gonna give you another shot, but fair warning, you are on probation, Stick-girl.

Thanks for visiting Venom, Secrets, & Lies!

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Everything in this blog is copyright Jessica Benassi AKA Hey Lola except where I give credit to other people because obviously, that's their stuff. Don't steal my stuff. I mean, I'm not sure why you would want to, anyway, but if you're thinking about it...don't. Also, all of this nonsense is my opininion and is not supported or endorsed by Blogger or anyone ese. I mean, maybe it is, but if something I say just infuriates you, I take sole responsibility.

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