Check out who totally sucks! Oh, wait...it's me.

I know I haven't been around but I have really good excuses. First, there's the wedding and all of the time I have to take out of my day to imaginarily kung fu people into doing my bidding. Second...

...actually, the ninja fantasies pretty much take up most of my time. Priorities, you know.

I was going to talk about wedding stuff today, like how James and I went and saw "Wolverine" and decided to photoshop walls of flames and exploding helicopters into all of our wedding photos...or how I almost got a wedding cake shaped like David Bowie's pants in Labyrinth...but then I got distracted by the weirdest/coolest/bizarre-est(est?) thing ~

ZOMBIE ANTS!





Seriously, I'm not even joking. These parasites get into the ant heads and start munching on their brains and then the ants...without their brains...leave their ant families and wander the countryside for 2 whole weeks while they search for human flesh...then their heads just fall off!

Ok, maybe they don't search for human flesh (as far as we know), but all of that other stuff is true.

See? Zombies are real, just like I've been telling everybody all along. Probably now people will start listening to me about Jason Voorhies and Freddy Krueger and that clown from Poltergeist whose head I swear to God I saw in a box at the Goodwill with a bunch of other clown heads just the other day...which, by the way, a box of clown heads is super creepy even if one of the clown heads doesn't belong to the creepy clown from Poltergeist (which it did.) People at the Goodwill are seriously messed up.


I also got distracted by this video because at one point they say something about British people having gigantic heads and you guys all know that my head is pretty ginormous...so I'm totally British, just like Madonna!



P.S. My next post will be my 100th. I'm going to have a give-away. I'm pretty excited about it. I have the coolest prize picked out and some other stuff but I'm open to some more ideas...what do you think I should give away?

13 comments:

Dizzy Ms. Lizzy May 23, 2009 at 10:30 PM  

One of your awesome jewelry pieces would be a great give-away - - just sayin'. But, you know how I feel about your jewelry! :-)

w May 24, 2009 at 12:43 AM  

you should give away a necklace that says "wendiwinn rocks".

everyone should win one.

Insanity Kim May 24, 2009 at 9:06 AM  

OK...

First off I vote for the Happiness Stacked Bracelets, but you'll have to tweak them and make them small for me, as I am petite that way...

Psh. Zombies are SO real! That's why I always carry around a sawed-off shot gun and blow torch! I have played enough Fall Out 3 to know that you don't mess around with zombies, or mutant ants that breathe fire. Luckily I have fire resistance and I jacked up my sneak skills...I would walk by that sign in complete confidence...

If you're concerned that zombies and flesh-eating ants might crash your reception let me know; I'll blow them away, or at least choreograph them into a killer Thriller remake, and then serve the ants rotisserie style...

Pogue May 25, 2009 at 6:17 AM  

I would like to tell you that it's completely uncool to talk about photoshopping fire and expolding stuff into your wedding photos unless you are really planning to do it. I can honestly say that this is the first, and most likely the last, time in my life that I am seriously excited to see anyone's wedding photos.

Thanks for providing the proof that we all knew was out there about zombie reality. I'm sending it to our good friend Ali and then hittin' up the gun store. It's, as they say in dance related films, ON.

As for your give away, I'd like to remind you that not all of your loyal subscribers are women, and we wouldn't all be super psyched about a wicked cool brooch. My suggestions: monster truck tire, one of those sweet bandanas that's already shaped like a hat, a steak, miscellaneous zombie fighting gear.

Murray May 25, 2009 at 10:25 AM  

You should totally give away one of the uber creepy Goodwill clown heads modeling a piece of your jewelry!! But, don't give it to me because clowns top my all-time phobia list. Thank you, no. But for other people--HELLZ YEAH!

Sarah D May 25, 2009 at 12:19 PM  

Hah--give away that giant witch doll... ;)

Or James. Just kidding. Keep him :)

Kearsie May 26, 2009 at 9:50 AM  

Dear Lola, I tried to leave a comment before, but the comment zombies ate it. I'm assuming it's because it was uber smart and witty and intellectual and thus, very tasty of brains.

That's all.

ElegantSnobbery May 27, 2009 at 1:01 AM  

Of course zombies are real. I am one every single day between the hours of 7 am and 3 pm, and then again between the hours of 8 pm and 1 am. The only reason I don't wander the streets ripping humans apart and eating their bodies, is that I'm too much of a zombie to open my front door and go anywhere.

PS, I'm starting to feel bad for myself that my wedding cake wasn't David Bowie's pants in Labyrinth.

PPS, my hubby is British and I'm totally going to measure his head when he gets home from work tomorrow. I'm curious.

jeweledrabbit/Maureen May 29, 2009 at 8:48 PM  

I think you should give away some bacon.

urbanvox June 3, 2009 at 4:09 AM  

I knew it I knew it!!!!!
Zombies DO exist!!!!!
Can I have a shotgun now???? :)

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy June 3, 2009 at 6:14 PM  

Yes, I would like some of your jewelry please.

And the zombie ants? CRAZY! I love it.

Glasstastic Treasures June 4, 2009 at 7:04 PM  

I think you should give away Kevin Bacon, Zombies and ants. That's what I wanna win!

w June 4, 2009 at 8:50 PM  

i'm still waiting for your 100th.

you must be hard at work on those "wendiwinn rocks" necklaces.

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Everything in this blog is copyright Jessica Benassi AKA Hey Lola except where I give credit to other people because obviously, that's their stuff. Don't steal my stuff. I mean, I'm not sure why you would want to, anyway, but if you're thinking about it...don't. Also, all of this nonsense is my opininion and is not supported or endorsed by Blogger or anyone ese. I mean, maybe it is, but if something I say just infuriates you, I take sole responsibility.

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