Two weeks ago, Las Vegas...
James: I think I left my toothbrush at home.
Me: That sucks.
James: So I used yours.
Me: Are you serious?
Me: That's really gross. Really.
James: I'm going to use it tomorrow, too. Just so you know.
The next day, in Las Vegas...
James: Are you sick?
Me: No, why?
James: I thought I heard you getting sick in the bathroom.
Me: No...I was just gagging while I was brushing my teeth with my own toothbrush that you defiled with your mouth.
James: Am I crazy, or having we been making out for over 7 years now?
Me: I know, but...you're gross.
One week ago, at home...
Me: I think I left my toothbrush in Vegas.
James: That sucks.
Me: So I used yours.
James: Are you serious?
Last night, our bathroom...
James: I think it's time for you to get your own toothbrush.
Me: I know. This is so gross.
James: So why don't you just go ahead and get your own toothbrush?
Me: Because my toothbrush is fancy and I don't have $70.00 lying around to replace it.
James: You know you can buy a cheap toothbrush, right?
Me: That's probably the stupidest thing I ever heard in my life. Why would I do that?
James: Because you need to stop using mine.
Me: Yeah, but you can't replace the toothbrush of the gods with cheap plastic. They'll smite you and your teeth will turn green. It's like lying in church.
The next morning, our bathroom...
Me: James! Where's the toothbrush?
Me: James? Hello?
P.S. Speaking of missing things ...