Andrew Jackson's big block of cheese, with nary a macaroni in sight...

I don't know what that means, but I'm pretty sure it has to do with porn. Also, if you're checking your blog for the first time in a long time and your comments are all pasta and porn spam and the Real Housewives of Somewhere is playing in the background and somebody's talking about their "vajayjay" the whole time...you might start to wonder just what the hell happened to your life.

Also, this happened:

Me: I'm leaving, kiss me.
James: I'm not going to kiss you.
Me: Why not?
James: I just don't really feel like it today.
Me: Come on, dude! Kiss me!
James: Fine, here...kiss me on this cold sore.
Me: Don't be a dick, just kiss...wait...is that really a cold sore?
James: No...it's herpes.
Me: You're the grossest guy I ever married. What's wrong with your face?
James: I think it might have been a zit. Kiss me.
Me: No, I don't think I'm going to.
James: Come on, dude! Kiss me!
Me: When are we going to get divorced, do you think?
James: Not soon enough.
Me: Yeah...ok, then. I'm leaving. I love you!
James: I love you, too!

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