The internet hates me.

It's true. First, I got all salt and pepper shaker obsessed and I was going to write about them over at The Lola Show and Etsy was all, "um...yeah...sorry, site maintenance and all. No salt and pepper shakers for you." Which by itself isn't really that bad...

Then I was going to read and comment on some blogs, but everyone's comment verification thing is broken. Seriously. For like a half an hour I've been beating strange words into my keyboard. I'm not sure why, but apparently I think that pounding the letters into my keyboard might somehow make them more acceptable to the word verification gods - but it doesn't. Also, I guess I must yell a lot when my word can't be verified because James totally caught me screaming at the computer.

James: Did you just yell "crawlpants?"
Me: No.
James: Seriously...I just heard you...you yelled "crawlpants!"
Me: No I didn't...
James: Uh huh...

James: OK! I heard you! You just screamed "vagillion!"
Me: No I didn't.
James: What's a "vagillion," anyway?
Me: I have no idea what you're talking about.
James: Right.

James: Ok. I'm standing right here. Not only did I hear you yell "hummusbutt," I saw you.
Me: Um...
James: What are you doing, anyway?
Me: I'm trying to enter the letters as they appear! And everytime I do, the internet is all, "NO. We told you to enter....the...letters...as...they...APPEAR." and then I do and the internet keeps telling me I'm not doing it right! Hakzat! HAK-ZAT!!!!
HAKZAT!!!!!
James: You should probably maybe walk away for a little bit.
Me: SOCKJERKY!
James: Seriously...
Me: WARTNOODLE!!!!!!!

I pretty much had a complete breakdown at that point, but in my defense, I'm about halfway through my 56th trimester and I'm pretty sure that Mister Spock said that this is the most emotional time for a pregnant woman...which I am. Imaginarily.

Anyway, after I calmed down a bit, I went to my Flickr account and I was all flattered because somebody added me as a favorite, except when I went to see who they were, they Flickr flashed me! Seriously...they picked a necklace as their favorite and then when I went to see who they were, it was all boobs and naked chicks and porn in their photo stream...which...you know, is fine if you've been warned but when you're all hormonal and your imaginary baby is clog dancing in your uterus and James is making fun of you because you can't verify even one word, the last thing that you want is to be slapped in the face with giant boobs and 1970's vaginas. Especially after the internet threw "vagillion" at you and you start to think of that scene in "A Chorus Line" where all of the dancers are singing that they're "One...singular sensation" and they keep multiplying and there's just a ton of them...like a gazillion...except now you have "vagillion" in your head so it instantly becomes all warped and it's a vagillion dancing vaginas in gold tuxedo jackets and shiny top hats and they're all singing about "One...bur-ning sensation" which is super bizarre because they're vaginas and it's like some really surreal STD clinic commercial or something.

So...you know...I think it's probably time for me to go to bed.

P.S.

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