New Year's Resolutions

HA! That title is kinda sorta a joke...actually, really is a joke. I'd mess up a resolution probably about 2 minutes after I made it. My only real goal this year anyway is to get on the Oprah Winfrey show and cry on her couch. I'd make that a resolution but ultimately, it's not my's pretty much out of my hands. YOU HEAR THAT, OPRAH??? Only YOU can help me achieve my greatest dream.

And no Oprah, I can't actually think of a good reason for you to have me on the show...I just really feel the need to be there. Real bad.

Actually...what would be super great...If Oprah had Britney Spears AND me on her show at the same time. Like, maybe we'd both end up crying and we'd hug each other for comfort and Oprah would turn to the camera with a little tear in her eye and do that "we'll be right back" thing and then the cameras would pan out just as Oprah Winfrey and Britney Spears and I all had a group hug 'cause we were all sad and stuff and comforting each other.

Man, I got so happy I almost peed my pants thinking about that one...

Also, I'm aware that so far this is a really random and scattered and pretty much pointless blog post but it was either going to be my Oprah and Britney dream or an open letter to David Caruso and I'm so pissed at David Caruso right now that I can barely see straight, much less write a blog post that even resembled something decent. (Don't play dumb, David know what you did...CSI: Miami? The episode where you drive the car with the bomb in it to the beach? Come ON! I expect so much better from you...for real. I have to continue with the rest of this blog post but don't think this is over...not for one minute, buddy.)

Oh yeah! I had an art show and I took some really bad pictures...fortunately, other people also took pictures and they turned out ok:

I used to paint really linear, serious I paint little grey lumpy guys with names like Linus and Augustus and Stan. They have a story but I can't tell you what it is because it's going in a book that's probably going to make me something like a gazillion dollars. I can't really take the risk of anybody snagging my gazillion dollar book idea because I've already spent about half that money, you're going to have to wait to hear the story.

Also, meet James:

I know, right? It's like the greatest love story ever photographed...


Rachel January 10, 2009 at 3:11 PM  

oh, jessica! I love the new paintings!
Also, I can't wait to read your book. ; )

carrie January 11, 2009 at 4:48 PM  

nice to finally see a "picture" of you guys. I love your gray squishy guy. Now I'm very curious about his story.

Dizzy Ms. Lizzy January 11, 2009 at 8:54 PM  

If you need any help typing your book, I know a good former clerical person who types very fast and very accurate . . . well, of COURSE I mean ME! :-)

Stacy January 12, 2009 at 9:12 AM  

Jessica - I saw your art at One World while I was there Saturday night. Awesome stuff. I love the cheery colors and stripes and the emotion in your characters. I think my favorite is the apple tree one. It was refresing to see something unique, so I just had to check out your site and say hello. I'm getting a big kick out of your reality TV posts and am giggling over newspaper clippings.
Keep up the funny wit! I will be adding you to my reader. =)

Nude January 12, 2009 at 2:30 PM  

Dude! You have a ginourmous head!

copperseal January 12, 2009 at 10:26 PM  

just tell oprah that you need to be on her show to let out all the stress built up by countless hours slaved away at painting little senseless apple pits without any true meaning besides supporting the fact that anything can look cute with red and white striped tights. and then britney can come out and have a big relative moment because...well...her life is just the pits.


p.s. your blog rox my sox (yes, enough for me to avert back to 90's lingo)

Sugarwilla January 23, 2009 at 2:21 AM  

Love the paintings!!! And your blog is very entertaining.
Keep it up

P.S. I am so OVER Beyonce and I'm not afraid to say it out loud. ;)

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About This Blog

Everything in this blog is copyright Jessica Benassi AKA Hey Lola except where I give credit to other people because obviously, that's their stuff. Don't steal my stuff. I mean, I'm not sure why you would want to, anyway, but if you're thinking about it...don't. Also, all of this nonsense is my opininion and is not supported or endorsed by Blogger or anyone ese. I mean, maybe it is, but if something I say just infuriates you, I take sole responsibility.

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