Somebody Won Something!

Check it out you guys! I'm totally late announcing my blog giveaway winner...

I know. You're completely shocked. Knock you over with a feather and all of that.

Anyway, there are a few things that have delayed the announcement. First - I never expected to feel so guilty about the fact that only one of you could win. Seriously, when I drew the name I was all, "Yes! That's totally awesome, yay for this person!" And then I was all, "Oh crap...that means that none of these other people won. Lame." And then I was trying to figure out how I could real quick whip together thousands of dollars worth of jewelry and commission Made by Laura to real quick make me a bunch of ass bunnies and I was totally stressing out about it because, you know...I just opened this bar and I work here a gazillion hours a week. Seriously. I'm here right now. Look:

(That's my finger that I wrapped in a napkin and some duct tape because I'm super clumsy and I break stuff and bleed and also I forgot to buy band-aids for the bar. Also, if you buy snuggies for your bar so people can wear them when they go outside to smoke, you get free booklights, which are perfect for highlighting duct taped fingers. Anyway, that's me, in my bar, right now, just like I said. If you have any doubt, you can also tell that it's me because those are my boobs in the background.)

Anyway, I felt so bad that I couldn't even sleep and when I finally did fall asleep I was having nightmares where you guys were all chasing me and shouting at me to give you your two dollars and I was crying, like...really serious mascara tears and yelling back at you all to leave me alone because I didn't even owe you guys two dollars and contests are supposed to be fun and why are you all being so mean to me? And James finally woke me up because I was screaming "TAKE YOUR TWO DOLLARS AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS BUNNY!" and he was afraid that the neighbors were going to call the cops or something and also he wanted me to be awake so I could see him laughing at me.

I can't really remember any of the other stuff that delayed the announcement.

Anyway, without further ado, the winner...

oh wait!

I remember what else delayed the announcement and before you guys get all bent out of shape and start hassling me for your two dollars, you should know that this part is really important.

I'm moving my store off of Etsy and to my very own stand alone site. So, you know, if you won the contest and you go to my store and it's all empty and you're all, "This totally sucks...this store is all empty...this is like winning $100 worth of lint!" you should know that the other half of my stuff is over here. And that if you want to wait a little bit, I'm going to be adding new stuff, probably as soon as tomorrow. So it's really way better than winning lint. Plus you get that ass bunny. So anyway, without further ado, the winner of my first annual most awesome ass bunny contest ever:

Denae D'Arcy!

Give it up for Denae, everybody! Also, I know that most of you probably don't know Denae, but she's quite lovely and even though we've never met, I like her a whole lot. As much as I like all of you. You should all introduce yourselves.

I'll wait...

Ok, cool. Now, I'd like to promise you that I'll be back really soon, but we all know that that's probably a lie. So I hope you all have a lovely holiday and a safe and fabulous new year and I really am being 100% sincere. 'Cause you guys are my favorites.


Anonymous,  December 17, 2009 at 9:16 AM  

Cograts Denae! (I wish I lived in Eugene so I could watch you on the news)

I love your duct taped finger and the idea of giving smokers snuggies to go outside in. That is hilarious!

w December 17, 2009 at 1:49 PM  

um. i don't understand. so. you're saying i won... but you're calling me denae?

or. are you saying i didn't win... and you're actually calling denae, denae?

also. i have a zebra snuggie.

wait. so did i win or not?

what happened here? we used to be best friends. i'll tell you what happened. you got married. and then you opened the bar. and then... then! that baby of yours. yeah. i bet you thought i forgot about the baby. well i didn't. i know you had that baby. you don't talk about your pregnancy anymore... so i know you birthed him. or her.

so. i guess i'll wait for my personal email telling me i won?

w December 17, 2009 at 1:49 PM  

well fine. also. congrats, denae. call me. i'm ok with splitting up the gift certificate. or even. with you sending me the bunny.

Insanitykim December 17, 2009 at 3:41 PM  

How could I have not won this?

I am crushed. I'll come back and read the whole post when I am not bitter and crying.

Congrats Denae...I'll send you my Christmas list soon...

Nude December 18, 2009 at 12:32 AM  

I am so disappointed I deleted my entire blog.

Goodbye cruel world.

Denae December 21, 2009 at 9:34 PM  

I AM SO EXCITED THAT I'M PASSING OUT RIGHT NOW. Can't see...the computer any mo....

Okay, I'm back. So sorry to everyone else that didn't win. I actually feel bad but THANK YOU to Hey Lola for the most fabulous, terrific, wonderful blog give away EVER.

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About This Blog

Everything in this blog is copyright Jessica Benassi AKA Hey Lola except where I give credit to other people because obviously, that's their stuff. Don't steal my stuff. I mean, I'm not sure why you would want to, anyway, but if you're thinking about it...don't. Also, all of this nonsense is my opininion and is not supported or endorsed by Blogger or anyone ese. I mean, maybe it is, but if something I say just infuriates you, I take sole responsibility.

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