Somebody Won Something!

Check it out you guys! I'm totally late announcing my blog giveaway winner...

I know. You're completely shocked. Knock you over with a feather and all of that.

Anyway, there are a few things that have delayed the announcement. First - I never expected to feel so guilty about the fact that only one of you could win. Seriously, when I drew the name I was all, "Yes! That's totally awesome, yay for this person!" And then I was all, "Oh crap...that means that none of these other people won. Lame." And then I was trying to figure out how I could real quick whip together thousands of dollars worth of jewelry and commission Made by Laura to real quick make me a bunch of ass bunnies and I was totally stressing out about it because, you know...I just opened this bar and I work here a gazillion hours a week. Seriously. I'm here right now. Look:


(That's my finger that I wrapped in a napkin and some duct tape because I'm super clumsy and I break stuff and bleed and also I forgot to buy band-aids for the bar. Also, if you buy snuggies for your bar so people can wear them when they go outside to smoke, you get free booklights, which are perfect for highlighting duct taped fingers. Anyway, that's me, in my bar, right now, just like I said. If you have any doubt, you can also tell that it's me because those are my boobs in the background.)

Anyway, I felt so bad that I couldn't even sleep and when I finally did fall asleep I was having nightmares where you guys were all chasing me and shouting at me to give you your two dollars and I was crying, like...really serious mascara tears and yelling back at you all to leave me alone because I didn't even owe you guys two dollars and contests are supposed to be fun and why are you all being so mean to me? And James finally woke me up because I was screaming "TAKE YOUR TWO DOLLARS AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS BUNNY!" and he was afraid that the neighbors were going to call the cops or something and also he wanted me to be awake so I could see him laughing at me.

I can't really remember any of the other stuff that delayed the announcement.

Anyway, without further ado, the winner...

oh wait!

I remember what else delayed the announcement and before you guys get all bent out of shape and start hassling me for your two dollars, you should know that this part is really important.

I'm moving my store off of Etsy and to my very own stand alone site. So, you know, if you won the contest and you go to my store and it's all empty and you're all, "This totally sucks...this store is all empty...this is like winning $100 worth of lint!" you should know that the other half of my stuff is over here. And that if you want to wait a little bit, I'm going to be adding new stuff, probably as soon as tomorrow. So it's really way better than winning lint. Plus you get that ass bunny. So anyway, without further ado, the winner of my first annual most awesome ass bunny contest ever:

Denae D'Arcy!

Give it up for Denae, everybody! Also, I know that most of you probably don't know Denae, but she's quite lovely and even though we've never met, I like her a whole lot. As much as I like all of you. You should all introduce yourselves.

I'll wait...

Ok, cool. Now, I'd like to promise you that I'll be back really soon, but we all know that that's probably a lie. So I hope you all have a lovely holiday and a safe and fabulous new year and I really am being 100% sincere. 'Cause you guys are my favorites.

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Don't mess with me Google, I've got ass bunny ninjas just waiting to kick your butt

So, apparently one of the side effects of me all but ignoring this blog, is that I've lost the number one position.

You know which one. The most coveted search result in all of Google-land.

I'm no longer the number one search result for ass bunnies.

I know, I know...it's my own fault entirely...it's like, when you neglect the important things in life, the important things in life get snatched right out of your grasp. Then you're stuck crying in a bathtub somewhere, nothing but a shell of your former self...just the girl who was once the Queen of the Ass Bunnies.

You guys know I'm not going to stand for this, right? I mean, if you're not going to fight for what you believe in, what good are you? Sometimes you just have to jump up on your car and yell, " I AM THE QUEEN OF THE ASS BUNNIES!!!"

...and then real quick get down when you realize that that's not actually your car and the cops just showed up and your driver's license is totally expired.

The other thing that you could do is hold a contest because you're lucky enough to know somebody who's crafty and has created a cute and fuzzy ass bunny action figure for you:






(Made By Laura makes ass bunnies for me. Made By Laura is awesome.)


That one isn't mine because mine is dressed like a ninja...I mean, his face is, anyway. His butt has to stay uncovered because he's an ass bunny. Obviously. Ninja ass bunny.

No, this particular ass bunny is yours. And he comes with a $100 gift certificate to my store. True story. And my store is about to get even more stuff in it. So, you know...you'll have more stuff to choose from. Stuff like this:







How do you win? By entering. How do you enter? By leaving a comment on this post. How do you enter more than once? Like, say, 5 times? You post a blog entry that links back here or to my store. How do you enter 10 times? You post a blog entry that links back to my blog AND my store. Whatever you decide to do, you have to come back here and tell me. Otherwise I'm not going to know because I haven't finished becoming psychic yet.

Additional rules: You can't say ass bunny or ass bunnies if you blog about me. You can say butt rabbit, gluteus maximus rodent, behind hare or something else along those lines but YOU CANNOT SAY ASS BUNNY. Chances are you blog more than I do and therefore, probably have more readers. If you start talking about ass bunnies over on your blog, you're going to take the ass bunny crown and then you and I are going to fight. And you'll be disqualified. Which would not be cool because I really, really like you.

Also, anything you blog about me has to be nice. Lie if you have to, I don't mind. OOOOH!OOOOH!! You should write a poem! A super sweet and shiny poem...that would be awesome.

The drawing ends at midnight, December 10th. The winner will be announced within a few days after. So you can use your gifts for yourself OR as holiday presents. Cool, huh?

P.S. If you were wondering where I actually disappeared to, my husband and I have been building this place. It's pretty awesome.
Also, I still love Natalie Dee:

www.nataliedee.com

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