Don't mess with me Google, I've got ass bunny ninjas just waiting to kick your butt

So, apparently one of the side effects of me all but ignoring this blog, is that I've lost the number one position.

You know which one. The most coveted search result in all of Google-land.

I'm no longer the number one search result for ass bunnies.

I know, I's my own fault's like, when you neglect the important things in life, the important things in life get snatched right out of your grasp. Then you're stuck crying in a bathtub somewhere, nothing but a shell of your former self...just the girl who was once the Queen of the Ass Bunnies.

You guys know I'm not going to stand for this, right? I mean, if you're not going to fight for what you believe in, what good are you? Sometimes you just have to jump up on your car and yell, " I AM THE QUEEN OF THE ASS BUNNIES!!!"

...and then real quick get down when you realize that that's not actually your car and the cops just showed up and your driver's license is totally expired.

The other thing that you could do is hold a contest because you're lucky enough to know somebody who's crafty and has created a cute and fuzzy ass bunny action figure for you:

(Made By Laura makes ass bunnies for me. Made By Laura is awesome.)

That one isn't mine because mine is dressed like a ninja...I mean, his face is, anyway. His butt has to stay uncovered because he's an ass bunny. Obviously. Ninja ass bunny.

No, this particular ass bunny is yours. And he comes with a $100 gift certificate to my store. True story. And my store is about to get even more stuff in it. So, you'll have more stuff to choose from. Stuff like this:

How do you win? By entering. How do you enter? By leaving a comment on this post. How do you enter more than once? Like, say, 5 times? You post a blog entry that links back here or to my store. How do you enter 10 times? You post a blog entry that links back to my blog AND my store. Whatever you decide to do, you have to come back here and tell me. Otherwise I'm not going to know because I haven't finished becoming psychic yet.

Additional rules: You can't say ass bunny or ass bunnies if you blog about me. You can say butt rabbit, gluteus maximus rodent, behind hare or something else along those lines but YOU CANNOT SAY ASS BUNNY. Chances are you blog more than I do and therefore, probably have more readers. If you start talking about ass bunnies over on your blog, you're going to take the ass bunny crown and then you and I are going to fight. And you'll be disqualified. Which would not be cool because I really, really like you.

Also, anything you blog about me has to be nice. Lie if you have to, I don't mind. OOOOH!OOOOH!! You should write a poem! A super sweet and shiny poem...that would be awesome.

The drawing ends at midnight, December 10th. The winner will be announced within a few days after. So you can use your gifts for yourself OR as holiday presents. Cool, huh?

P.S. If you were wondering where I actually disappeared to, my husband and I have been building this place. It's pretty awesome.
Also, I still love Natalie Dee:


Emily November 11, 2009 at 6:14 PM  

Um, I'm entering!!! I love ass bunnies, however, I love Hey Lola more and I WILL GET THAT $100 gift card. Wait, I don't have a blog. What can I do? What can I do?

I would Facebook-status the shit outta you, but I don't think that'll count. What about a Facebook note? Would that count, you little ass bunny you? Hit me up and let me know!

P.S.~ Let's say I win this thing... can I come over and have you help my ninja-fy my ass bunny? Okay, okay, I won't get ahead of myself. Gotta win the ass bunny first.

Insanitykim November 11, 2009 at 9:07 PM

I am so doing this! I'll be back. Oh yes, excitement abounds!

Redd November 11, 2009 at 9:38 PM


Marianne November 11, 2009 at 10:40 PM  

Consider me entered! I have a blog too...I'LL BE BACK!

Pogue November 12, 2009 at 8:54 AM  

There once was a Queen of Ass
Whose blog was amusing and funny

She was gone for a bit
To get married and shit

Now she's back with her wit
And her pun-ing

w November 12, 2009 at 9:58 AM  

dude. first. i've missed you. i didn't see anyone else tell you that. so you might as well rig it so that i win. and mainly because you made me think we had broken up. but really all this time you were busy with life.

also. kimmy kim kim said she'd get me something from your shop if she wins. because she knows how much i like it. but then she also said that she told me that so that i'd feel guilty and want to return the favor if i won. and anyway. i don't cry. nor do i feel guilt. so. it's ok to pick me.

and you know i'll be blogging about this. and i won't be using your "ass bunny" for i follow the rules. instead, i call the words "harey sweet cheeks".

your bff,

linlah November 12, 2009 at 3:19 PM  

I'd love to have a $100 dollars to your shop and nekked bunny.

The Wheelman November 12, 2009 at 3:43 PM  

I'm winning this. I not only posted a blog entry but I linked to both ass bunny entries and the store without breaking the rules.

You may bask in my reflective glory.

Denae November 13, 2009 at 12:32 AM  

I am so glad you're alive. My blog will shine with the glow of little stuffed rabbits that look like bottoms. Also...very cool bar! Congrats!

Denae November 13, 2009 at 3:00 AM  


w November 14, 2009 at 3:44 PM  

i wrote a post just for you. because you're the best. ever. also. gimme my 10 entries. i'm winning this thing.

your bff,

Cheeky Treasures November 14, 2009 at 4:13 PM  

I have to say that bunny is the funniest bunny I've ever seen! W. sent me! I lurv her and her stuffs! So If she lurvs you, then you must be Awesome!

Cheeky Treasures November 14, 2009 at 4:22 PM

I blogged and I linked to your shop AND your blog. :D

Huong November 14, 2009 at 9:19 PM  

dude. the bubbly ring so rocks bubbles.


w sent me.


Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy November 16, 2009 at 3:36 PM  

enter me please, because the only thing better than that ass bunny would be a hundred dollar gift certificate to your etsy store. Please and thank you ;)

Anonymous,  November 17, 2009 at 8:45 AM  

I totally blogged about you and linked your blog and shop! I'm also following your blog but that is just because I like hilarity and entertainment. That ass bunny is MINE (oh, and the $100 gift card isn't too shabby either).

dcr November 19, 2009 at 1:48 PM  

Oh, for the opportunity to take a #1 spot away from my nemesis. Haha! Your plan for Internet domination is slowly cracking under the pressure. It has more cracks than a barebutt bunny. Muhahahahaha!

And this totally counts as an entry. It'd be ironic if you have to end up packaging a bunny to send to me. Although I'm not sure I want to give you my address.

Oh, wait. You already have it. Holy heck!!!

Cool bar, by the way.

Kelsey November 23, 2009 at 4:07 PM  

I AM SO EXCITED! I hope I win. That way I can buy that necklace I'm coveting:

I will also tweet/facebook/digg it! :)

Kara,  November 27, 2009 at 3:39 PM  

heehee...I hope I win! The bunny looks so awesome, and all your jewelry is very pretty

dcr November 29, 2009 at 10:38 PM  

Okay, I have my entry now, such that it is.

It won't go live for another half hour, but what are the odds you're reading this right now anyway? ;)

Bare-Butt Bunnies. See? I didn't use the forbidden phrase!

Anonymous,  December 2, 2009 at 7:43 PM  

Dear Author !
In it something is also to me it seems it is very good idea. Completely with you I will agree.

Rachel December 6, 2009 at 7:38 PM  

Can I say RUMP RABBITS??? Because that would be funny too.

copperseal December 7, 2009 at 8:02 PM  

i poem'd the shit out of this blog entry.

blogged + mentioned!!

thanks so much for this giveaway!!

Insanitykim December 9, 2009 at 4:17 PM  

I have done the post, with so much linkage that man, it should be sausage, for serious! I so want to win. If I don't I'll cry. For a long time. Check it, it's at the end of my post, ya know, the part that everyone will remember. PLEASE MAKE ME WIN!!!

hawkbrwn December 9, 2009 at 6:32 PM  

i so totally enter right this very minute, thanks to insanitykim's link, elsewise i would not have known.

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB December 10, 2009 at 9:08 AM  

found you from insanity kim, allow me to introduce myself

queen of the ass bunnies meet

queen of the dust bunnies

w December 14, 2009 at 2:42 PM  

dude. i'm waiting for you to announce me as the winner of your giveaway.

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About This Blog

Everything in this blog is copyright Jessica Benassi AKA Hey Lola except where I give credit to other people because obviously, that's their stuff. Don't steal my stuff. I mean, I'm not sure why you would want to, anyway, but if you're thinking about it...don't. Also, all of this nonsense is my opininion and is not supported or endorsed by Blogger or anyone ese. I mean, maybe it is, but if something I say just infuriates you, I take sole responsibility.

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