Life Coaching by a Professional Life Coach Expert on Life Coaching. Expert. Professional. Life Coach.

In addition to all of my expertise in just about everything, I'm also a life coach.  I didn't realize that I was a life coach until I was on twitter one day and realized that the qualification for being a life coach was basically just claiming to be a life coach.  Which I just did. So I'm a life coach and also, an expert on life coaching and here to offer you life coaching advice on your life.

Because I'm a life coach.

Follow Your Dreams

Life coaching advice from self proclaimed life coach and expert on life coaching,

Jessica Benassi

One of the things that's important to do in your life is to follow your dreams and realize that you can be anything you want to be. Don't let anyone tell you any differently - you are you and you control your own destiny and you can be anything you want to be because you are the pilot of the airplane of fate and destiny and other stuff that has to do with the future. Go you!

Except you can't be a dinosaur.

Dinosaurs are extinct and it would be pretty stupid of you to even think that's possible.  Stupid people don't get to be whoever they want to be.  So don't be stupid, and then you can be whoever you want to be.

Also, losers only has one "o" in it, so you should also learn how to spell.  Don't be stupid, don't try to be a dinosaur, learn how to spell things, and then you can be whoever you want to be.

Except you can't be Oprah Winfrey's best friend. 

You shouldn't even attempt this, because it's not going to work, and you'll just end up crying in the corner of your shower every night, naked, with a half empty bottle of cheap whiskey.

So, in conclusion, follow your dreams and you can be whoever you want to be except for a dinosaur or Oprah Winfrey's best friend.

Seriously.  This isn't happening.

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Things I learned in 2009

As we embark on this new year, this new decade, I would like to impart on you...to you..er...for you...um....

I'd like to throw some things I learned at you. Hopefully you will treasure them and hold them close to your bosoms...keep them with you as you travel through the year and use these precious little nuggets of wisdom to help you through the most difficult of times...

1. The song "Imma Bee" by The Black Eyed Peas is not about being a bee. It's apparently about...being...or something. Not knowing this is not a big deal if you're just thinking this in your head...not knowing this is more than a little embarassing if you happen to be hanging out with a group of people who are way cooler than you and you wonder out loud if this is a sign that the Black Eyed Peas are maybe going to change their name to "The Black Eyed Bees." So, in 2010, please try to remember:




Fergie = Not a bee.

2. Oprah is leaving us in 18 months. This is important to you because it means that you only have about a year left to get your act together and convince Oprah to give me a box of kleenex and a seat on her couch. It wouldn't hurt to remind her of what a great person I am and how I'm still super, super sorry about that whole Beyonce thing and that everyone should just get over it already and move on like freaking grown-ups instead of dwelling on it and holding grudges and just being huge super jerks about the whole thing and not letting people achieve their dreams and be on the only show that ever really mattered to them, EVER.

...I'm just sayin'...forgiveness is pretty awesome. Anyway:



2010 = Oprah and Jessica are BFFs.


Actually, that's all I learned in 2009. Two things isn't very much and I really tried and tried to remember what else I possibly could have learned but seriously...nothing. Of course, this could mean only one thing...

...I now know everything in the world there is to know. Which means...I'm the smartest person in the world! I know, right? What a great year for me! Anyway, since I'm the smartest person in the world and you guys aren't and I'm really super generous, I'm starting an advice column. Feel free to ask me anything, either here or via my twitter account (www.twitter.com/loveheylola). I'll totally hook you up with the knowledge.

P.S. My vast array of knowledge includes math...

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